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29/52

13 August, 2014 |

Photo Aug 02, 6 12 55 PM

Photo Aug 02, 6 12 55 PM

“A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014″

Sometimes I just stare at her and think...I can't believe I made a person.

22 Weeks

13 August, 2014 |

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Processed with VSCOcam with b1 preset {22+3 Weeks • Rooted} I've grown roots, not physical roots of course, but a rootedness to the earth, to myself, and to my unborn child. It happened unknowingly during my last pregnancy I'm sure, but I was too busy preparing in every way imaginable that I clearly must have missed it. Early pregnancy for me is like a freshly potted plant, roots frayed and wild, reaching out for soil that is unsteady and loose, instead I reach for the closeness of others, mostly my husband. He could not come home from work soon enough, I followed him around like a lost puppy needing attention. Any room he was in I had to be, I'm sure it drove him nuts though I'll never know it, because he was there with arms wide open.

Then just like that, my roots finally take hold, grounding me, and I crave space and solitude. Every step I take leaves behind a tangible warmth, proof of my existence. I find comfort in the quiet of being alone, most evenings spent sitting on the porch as the last rays of light flee, peacefully greeting the night, while I thankfully reminisce about the day, and contemplate the future. All the while joyfully aware of the tiny being resting just beneath my skin. For me, a person who has searched all their life for this indescribable feeling, on top of mountains, down rivers, off the beaten path, and to finally find 'it' within myself, is the greatest blessing I could have ever hoped for.


Tangled

13 August, 2014 |

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{The night walked down the sky with the moon in her hand. ~Frederick L. Knowles} 21+6 weeks • Tangled beneath all this life, I never thought I'd be as blessed as this. Love, seeping out of every corner. Every kiss, every laugh, every silly grin, reminding why I press on through achey limbs and tired eyes. The magic of two lovers, so tangible and real.

21+2 Weeks

13 August, 2014 |

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photo {Pregnant women! They had that weird frisson, an aura of magic that combined awkwardly with an earthy sense of duty. Mundane, because they were nothing unique on the suburban streets; ethereal because their attention was ever somewhere else, and they had that preciousness which they imposed wherever they went, compelling attention, constantly reminding you that they carried the future inside, its contours already drawn, but veiled, private, an inner secret. ~Ruth Morgan} 21+4 weeks • That strange feeling of distance, from anything and everything around me that pregnancy sometimes brings. Moments feel like a lifetime, tears flow freely, and emotions are worn on your sleeve. A precious time when you are totally woman...mother.


21 Weeks

13 August, 2014 |

photo {21 weeks, To be pregnant is to be vitally alive, thoroughly woman, and distressingly inhabited. Soul and spirit are stretched - along with body - making pregnancy a time of transition, growth, and profound beginnings. ~Anne Christian Buchanan} Starting to come into the fullness of pregnancy. My feet are slowly disappearing, sandals are getting harder to buckle, and so are pants. What once were slight flutters and taps have become stronger kicks and rolls. I cannot believe the speed at which the weeks are flying by, bringing me closer and closer to meeting my sweet babe. Bonus* I've started quite the love affair with chocolate covered honeycomb, maybe that's why I can no longer button my pants...

28/52

13 August, 2014 |

Photo Jul 22, 10 30 16 AM

“A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014″

Peek-a-boo in the curtains with my cheeky girl.


The sweetest kisses

13 August, 2014 |

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Processed with VSCOcam with f3 preset I just can't get enough kisses from this sweet girl! When she was smaller we would try to give her a kiss and she would turn and laugh (broke my little mama heart). Lately at night, right before she falls asleep E has started to give me tons and tons of kisses, some with her eyes half closed, it's one of my favorite moments of the day.

20+4 Weeks

18 July, 2014 |

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"Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard." ~Anne Sexton

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The quiet love between you and I, what a feeling, to carry two hearts inside of you. No one knows you like I do, they don't hear the soft exchange of our beating hearts. Or feel the soft kicks and turns you make when I sing aloud, or when your Papa whispers to you. I never feel as connected to myself, to life, as when I'm carrying it. Carrying you makes my soul complete, it sings, illuminated, full of your spirit. I've never loved you more than I do now, until the moment your skin touches mine, bare on my chest, until then...

Love, Mama


The Letters

15 July, 2014 |

http://vimeo.com/100842619  

Find out  more & support The Letters HERE

xo,

Krystal

20 Weeks

15 July, 2014 |

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{~20 Weeks~ Words that are hard to find. The let down of raw emotion and fear making it's exit takes it's toll. I wasn't going to write this, I was going to let this fade away into memories unknown, because that's easier...but I won't, because someone might need these words.}

This week was one of the hardest tests of faith I've ever had. While staring at the babies heart for what seemed an unusual amount of time, my own heart sank, and fear crept in. When you imagine your child coming into this world it's always perfect, all you wish for is a healthy baby, but there it was, right in front of me, on a screen in plain black and white. I wanted to run, but I stayed steady, I wanted to cry, but I refused, I wanted to yell and ask why, but I just smiled at the sweet ultrasound tech as she left to grab the doctor. God doesn't give you more than you can handle...he doesn't right? I asked myself sitting there, just my sweet baby and I.

She returned with the doctor, my mother and my daughter in tow. If you know me, when faced with hardship I smile, while silently building a wall, not to close myself off, but to hold myself up, you see I'm too afraid to reach for outspread arms for fear of breaking down. Talk of Down's syndrome and heart problems, swirled the room, backgrounds and too much blood were taken. In silence, fear crept in, not for me, but for my child, because people can be cruel when they don't understand you. How would I do this? Where would the strength come from? How will I tell my husband who has already watched his own sister pass away from a neurological disorder.

I scoured the internet in secret, reading story after story of negative and positive outcomes, finding comfort in their words. Days passed, we filled them with joy and life carried on, as silent prayers were made, all while waiting for a phone call that finally came. I almost didn't hear her when she said that all the results came back negative, I had already settled in my mind that I would do whatever was needed in order to provide this child with the happiest life possible, no matter the result. I knew this child would be perfect, that I would learn from he or she, that I would be the best mother I could possibly be to both my children because that's what they need. Tears flowed and fear exited, and just like that everything was back to the way that it was.


The Letters - KICKSTARTER

15 July, 2014 |

IG_KS

IG_KS  

The KICKSTARTER for The 'Letters' A Portrait of Motherhood is live for the next 30 days. I'm putting everything on the line and if I don't reach the goal within the time allotted, I won't receive a dime. It's really all or nothing and I believe that some things are worth the risk, that this project, this wonderful book written by YOU will be a success. So spread the word! Re-post until your hearts content, blog about it, and don't forget to use the hashtag #ISUPPORTTHELETTERS, you have a voice so let it be heard! Together we can make this book a reality, together we can support one another and break down the walls that divide us.

 

Much Love and Appreciation,

Krystal

The Best Gift of Life

15 July, 2014 | 1 Comment

Interview

Interview I had the honor of being Interviewed by @thebestgiftoflife along side so many inspiring Mamas. Check out their beautiful site over at www.thebestgiftoflife.com

 

xx,

Krystal