The beginning of the 3rd trimester, the last stretch (literally). I find myself looking for balance, as much as I'd like to lay down, there's a little toddler running around who needs me. This is the first time when I've had to say no to picking her up at times, and distract her with something else, or ask my husband to take her up the stairs. Guilt piles up and I find myself doing to much physically, leaving my belly tight and tired at the end of the day. Looking back on moments where my patience ran thin, and got the best of me. In my search for balance I've found myself growing as mother, while some days run smoothly, some days I still feel defeated.
The definition of being a "good" mom I've realized does not mean you take on anything and everything until you're rung dry at the end of the day, though sometimes that feeling is bound to happen. I've learned in order to be a good mom I have to grow and change the way I parent along with my expanding belly. I'm not only raising a child I am growing one too, and this little babe needs me to be gentle with myself.
It's funny, just when you think you nailed it, that you've got this parenting thing down, life reminds you that it truly is like a flowing river. It will not always run smooth, there will be rocks and rapids. In order not to drown, we must learn when and how to paddle, and when to lean back and look at the clouds.