That longing for moments to stay resulted in me clinging tightly to those precious moments I knew would eventually come to an end. It’s changed the way I look at life, now I go all in, whatever it is, I'm right there, present, deep in the experience. Carpe Diem, it's something that I work at every day without fail, I acknowledge those heavyhearted feelings and then pack them away so I can fully immerse myself in my life.
I thought there would be rainbows,
I thought the storm had passed,
that the clouds were clearing.
I wrap my arms around myself tighter, my breath clouds the air,
I remind myself that it’s just weather,
it’s all just weather,
the sun will rise again.
The sky began to warm with spirit of the morning as I drove the rest of winding road home, quiet and alone I smiled, through the tears and the pain and the uncertainty, I smiled, they had made it, my monarchs.
Time, you are a funny thing, you trespass gradually, and in a way, all at once. Clever...very clever.
Remember when you were a child and fifteen minutes seemed like a lifetime? It was as if you could pack the span of a day into those nine hundred seconds.
So I smiled, flipped my hair, and took a picture. So when I'm lost in the forest of motherhood, hidden under the laundry, the dishes, and the everyday routine, I can look at this picture and remember...I'm still me, the same crazy girl taking a selfie in the mirror.
There will be time for tears, I will wobble, I will have my moments...but not here, not in this space. Because today unlike the days I've brought life to this earth, this rain...this rain is for me.